A Horse Named Winnie

“I’ve been through the desert on a horse named Winnie.” Her singing voice, although pleasant, was not exactly up to the standard of a professional. It can be screechy at certain points, and full of unattractive vowels and consonants, despite her alluring appearance.  Special Agent Joseph Borianez was in love but his lovely girlfriend and partner is driving him crazy with her singing.

“The lyric is “The horse with no name” Erin, not “a horse named Winnie,” the FBI agent said, a deadpan look on his face. The forensic anthropologist scrunched her eyebrows together and said matter-of-factly, “Of course it does. Its name is Winnie.” Joseph rolled his eyes when he thought his partner wasn’t looking. When he saw the semi-death glare on her face afterwards, he knew that she had.

Cringing inwardly, the former Army Ranger tried to smooth things over. “Look, Erin, the song is basically a metaphor. “Horse” is slang for heroin. It’s not like the more common ones like Mary Jane, weed, pot, etc. but it’s what people refer to it sometimes.” Brows still scrunched together, Erin stared at her boyfriend, evidently confused. “If there’s not an actual horse, then how does the man in the song free it? It makes no logical sense.” Heaving a sigh, Joseph began to explain.

“There’s a horse in the song, yes, but it’s about a person venturing into a new life only to discover that it’s no better than where he was originally.” Seeming to understand, the forensic anthropologist said, “Oh, kind of like us?” Perplexed, the FBI agent’s eyebrows went up as he exclaimed, “No! Not like us! It’s just a song, Erin. It’s not based on anything in real life.” Nodding, Erin said, “Oh, I understand now. The horse in the song is me and you should set me free.” Panic coursed through Joseph’s entire body as he frantically said, “No, I’m not going to set the horse free! Her name is Winnie and I need her!” Amused, the forensic anthropologist said with a smirk, “So you should keep me?” Joseph, feeling immensely relieved, flashed his girlfriend his signature Charm Smile. “Definitely.” Erin then hooked her arms through Joseph’s and the two sang together at the top of their lungs, “I’ve been through the desert on a horse named Winnie.”